Tonight's Nightcap is sponsored by Allison Stokke's drink of choice, Belvedere Vodka. Because when not trying to maintain those last few moments of innocence, it's always fun for an 18 year-old to party with her boyfriend, throw back a few shots, and chase it with some Coors Light. (Note: I'm just guessing on the can in her hand. It could very well be Diet Coke. Also the bottle doesn't appear to have been opened...yet.)

So let me get this straight- high school pole vaulter Allison Stokke is upset about all the attention she's receiving, so this Orange County girl's solution is to go to the Washington Post and Fox News with her story? If she really wanted anonymity, she should have granted Insomniac's Lounge an interview. I can promise her that my parents wouldn't have been adding her to their MySpace page immediately afterwards. Perhaps her feelings in the Post article are sincere, but if so, she's been badly misguided by her media savvy father. (He is an attorney who regularly defends people accused of rape and child molestation, so he's very familiar with using the media). The timing is odd too. It's the end of the school year. There won't be many meets between now and her college track season next spring, so this story would have dried up quickly as websites moved on to June's flavor of the month. She's in a peripheral (i.e., non-televised), seasonal sport, so unlike athletes like Michelle Wie and Maria Sharapova, her exposure is limited by the short duration of her sport. Even the peripheral athletes that overtly seek extra attention have a very short life span. When is the last time you saw Jennie Finch anywhere? Anyone remember high jumper Amy Acuff? If the Stokke family had just left the story alone, it would have run its course, and no one would have ever mentioned her again until perhaps the 2008 Summer Olympics. As it is, she's added an extra week or two to her lifespan.

Besides, she's going to Cal-Berkeley. By this time next year, she'll have stopped wearing makeup or shaving her armpits. I doubt many people will be fleecing her Facebook page for pics then.

....

A few other thoughts from the day in sports that really should be in their own posts, but that would mean coming up with some new headlines; and it's already almost 4 am, so screw it...

It's been about six hours since I've last checked the story, so I'm not sure where Kobe Bryant currently stands on his trade demands with the Lakers. Either way, it doesn't really matter. Kobe has no leverage on the issue, and Jerry Buss will stop drinking with hot 23 year-olds before he trades Kobe Bryant. At least that's the case this offseason. There is however one scenario in which I could forsee Bryant possibly leaving LA. If OJ Mayo totally blows up during his one season at USC, then I could see Buss trading Kobe to move up in the 2008 draft for the rights to the fellow Trojan (Buss received his PhD from and taught at USC). While he won't have the same cache as Kobe Bryant, "Juice Deuce" should still be a pretty good draw in Los Angeles. Combine him with whomever the Lakers draft from this deep 2007 class and you've suddenly built a decent nucleus to compete in the next generation's (Portland, Seattle) Western Conference...

Personally, I was much more offended by ARod's latest bush league move on the field in Toronto than I was by reports of him heading up to his Four Seasons hotel room with a stripper. I don't know what that says about me, and I probably don't want to know...

So for three weeks, I've been waiting for Tom Glavine to get closer to 300 wins, so I could post my well-researched (by my standards, at least) article about how he could very likely be the last pitcher to reach that magic number for the next 10 years, along with speculation of who that next 300 game winner might be. Then Wednesday afternoon, I walked past a newsstand and saw that very topic is the cover story for this week's Sporting News. Sonofab*tch! To all you bloggers out there, the lesson to take from this is to always post whatever is on your mind, no matter how hasty or pointless it might seem...

I've got another contest to share that I should probably be keeping for myself. Between now and June 3, you can enter on DenverBroncos.com for the chance to win an all expense FunJet Vacation to Cozumel during the week of June 24-July 1. Putting the "fun" in FunJet is that those dates coincide with the Denver Broncos Cheerleaders calendar photoshoot, and the winner will be given the opportunity to attend one session of the shoot. While it's not explicitly stated in the rules, I assume the winner will also have to pass a lie detector test, as Mike Shanahan needs to know your true intentions before letting you go.

Oh, and if you happen to win but can't find anyone to gawk at Broncos Cheerleaders with ya....Lemme know.

Labels: Cheerleading Goodness, Douchebag Dads, Five Dolla Make U Holla, Hypocrisy, Nightcap

Hope you all had a nice weekend. If you actually went on vacation and were away from a tv, you didn't miss much in the sports world. If you want proof of just how slow it was, head over to the AOL FanHouse and you'll find that they were only able to come up with 50-100 filler articles over the three days, which is seemingly a tenth of their normal productivity. Seriously, not one article about a B list athlete's mundane holiday activities? (suggested story: "Jeff Garcia Likes Bratwurst On His Grill"). C'mon guys, step it up! (I kid, I kid.)

A few other reflections from the past couple days:

Manu Ginobili has turned flopping into an artform, much in the same way that a guy spreading his feces on a canvas has turned that into an artform. It was however poetic justice that Derek Fisher was the player victimized by Ginobili's antics since Fisher was the original small man to incorporate flopping as a legitimate defensive strategy.

While the Euros get most of the heat for all of the rampant flopping, I also put some of the blame on the NBA refs. There was a time in basketball where you would always hear an announcer say that the block vs charge foul was the most difficult call for a ref to make. Somewhere along the way, officials just decided "Screw it, it's too tough. Let's just call them all charges." While this Western Conference Final might not be very good immediate entertainment, hopefully it will be good for the long term health of the league, as these teams are forcing the NBA to find ways in the offseason to curb all of the flopping.

While you'd never know it by looking at his face, which looks like Droopy Dog in the episode where his mom had to be put down, Jeff Van Gundy has to be loving his gig as a commentator for ABC. He finally gets to criticize the officials all he wants, and rather than being fined 100 grand, he's collecting a check from ABC. Eat that, David Stern.

If the NBA wants to improve its ratings during what remains in the playoffs, might I suggest that the quasi-burlesque Pussycat Dolls actually remove some clothing during the commercial cutaways? Don't get me wrong, I like the "leaning over, pushing the boobs up beyond the neckline of the jersey tank" move they go with now. It's a timeless classic. But maybe to mix things up a bit, they could start out in warmups, then strip down to jerseys before halftime, and then either a tube top or an NBA Authentic bikini top for the 4th quarter . And if the game goes into overtime? Then, I guess they just hold two basketballs in front of their chest.

Switching over to baseball, since the 2003 season, MLB and ESPN have made the Red Sox-Yankees rivarly the preeminent storyline in the league. Now that the Yankees are quickly becoming irrelevant this season, does that mean that MLB is becoming irrelevant as well, or only ESPN's coverage of the league? More likely, ESPN will drag out the Yankees coverage for at least a few more weeks until Clemens gets a few starts, but after that, they'll need to shift gears and act like they've been following guys like Travis Hafner, Adrian Gonzalez, and JJ Hardy all season long. (In case you only get your MLB coverage from ESPN, those players are on the Indians, Padres, and Brewers respectively.)

Finally, while I missed the live coverage of the Indy 500, I did catch some of the photos from the event; and Ashley Judd can stand braless in the rain all she wants. It's hard for me to believe that she's already pushing 40. Some might say that she's getting too old to play the role of rabid fan. But if she doesn't have to grow up, then neither do I. And if she doesn't mind me enlarging these pics (click for larger version) to steal a glance at her nipples, then I don't mind that either, dammit!

Labels: ESPN Talking Heads, NBA, Refs Blow

The New England Patriots Cheerleaders have released a few photos from their recent calendar photoshoot:







2008 is looking like a fantastic year for the Pats.

Labels: Bikini Goodness, Cheerleading Goodness

This video is almost a year old, but as far as I can tell, it's been flying under the radar. When it was first posted, I doubt many people had much interest in the third string QB of the Dallas Cowboys. But now that Tony Romo is a Pro Bowler, this clip becomes a little more relevant. And by relevant, I mean it gives me an excuse to post video of young women shaking their asses, making out and showing off their underwear.

(Romo only shows up at the 20 second mark and is on the clip for two whole seconds, but feel free to watch the clip in its entirety if you'd like)



Cowboys fans can only hope that Romo is the link back to the Dallas Dynasty. The days of offensive dominance, Super Bowl victories, and Ho's. Lots and lots of Ho's.

Labels: Dallas Cowboys, Tang

-"Dear ESPN Sports Gal,

I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your husband. If it's any consolation, lighting himself on fire is the way he always wanted to go. Like many others, I will choose to remember Bill for the times when he was actually funny. If you can find any consolation in the wake of these events, perhaps it is this: At least now, your daughter won't be forced to play in every single rec sports league because her father was disappointed that he didn't get a son.

Yup, I am his reader.

P.S. Would you happen to have an email address for any of the Page2 editors? I understand there's now an opening."

-While Celtics' fans might be upset about losing the opportunity to draft Greg Oden or Kevin Durant, not all is lost. There's still a chance that they could use the #5 pick on Spencer Hawes and give season ticket holders the young, white star they've been longing for. Maybe he can be the next Kevin McHale (the dominant big man version, not the franchise-killing front office guy).

-Immediately after the draft lottery, ESPN analyst Jon Barry said that Portland should trade away the most coveted #1 pick in years for veteran players because the Blazers do not need to get younger. Note to self: after building an empire with underground strip clubs and dog fights catering to athletes and then buying a NBA franchise with newfound fortune, do not hire Jon Barry as your GM.

-The Washington Redskins have issued a statement apologizing for the comments made by Clinton Portis which were dismissive of the allegations that Michael Vick is facing in connection with a dog fighting ring.

"The Washington Redskins, as an organization, obviously would never condone anything related to animal cruelty," the team's statement said.

I wonder how the organization would feel about endorsing anything related to genocide? Would the REDSKINS condone that?

-The Yankees are rushing Roger Clemens along and he may actually start for the Yankees next week against the Blue Jays. But after watching Mike Mussina pitch today, I think it's Roger Clemens' pharmacist that they really need the most.

-So, a few days after Jason Giambi says that baseball should apologize to the fans for its rampant use of steroids, it's somehow leaked to a NY Daily News reporter that Giambi failed an amphetamine test within the last year. Giambi should consider himself lucky. Bud Selig wanted to have the brake fluid drained from Giambi's car, but Donald Fehr was able negotiate a simple "uppers" violation.

-Giambi has said that whatever he did use, he didn't feel like it really helped him. He would have hit the homers anyway. So um...why did he keep taking it? Did he just like to start each day with a needle in the ass? That is like me saying that I'm pretty sure the women at the club would have slept with me anyway, but I just slipped the roofies in their drinks because I heard it was the thing to do.

-Speaking of ladies that I might need an added edge with, check out the Ultimate Fan Sweepstakes over at MLB.com. The grand prize is a set of tickets to two Dodgers home games with the opportunity to meet Alyssa Milano at one of the games. Ya know, maybe I'm selling myself short. She did date Carl Pavano afterall, so maybe she isn't the most discerning chick in town. That's my kind of girl.

Labels: MLB., Nightcap, Roid Rumors

Some pics of Eva Longoria from the Padres Contra El Cancer charity beach volleyball tournament have just surfaced online. After carefully reviewing these, I'd like to apologize to Tony Parker for questioning what he is doing marrying her. I still think he's foolish for giving up the rich, single life at age 25; and yeah, she does appear to be rather controlling. And ok, maybe once the makeup comes off, there's a dramatic decline. But as long as the view from behind looks this good...I understand.

Labels: Bump Set Tap Dat Ass, Volleyball

Sunday, I made my way down to Hermosa Beach to catch the final day of the AVP beach volleyball tournament. I'm not the most avid follower of beach volleyball, so I had a little bit to learn once I got there. What I learned most is just how much better life can be when you're drinking before noon. (Actually, I guess it was more of a refresher course.) But between stops at bars and picking up some free swag, I did manage to actually watch a few matches. In case you didn't catch the tape delayed broadcast on FSN, here's a very brief summary:

In the first semifinal in the women's division, it was Kerri Walsh and Misty May-Treanor against two women who weren't quite camera ready by 9 am. Kerri Walsh showed great form throughout and led her team to victory.

Once in the finals, they continued to dominate, easily winning the title in two games, 21-15, 21-11. The win gave May-Treanor a record 73 wins on the tour. Other highlights from the day included an appearance by Eva Longoria in a celebrity match to benefit Padres Contra El Cancer that unfortunately was tarnished by the decision to give Carlos Mencia a mic and allow him to commentate during the match. (You won't believe this, but he spent the entire time making predictable, tired jokes utilizing Mexican stereotypes.) Fortunately, between the Cuervo Girls, the Bud Light Girls, and even Eva, there was plenty to keep a person distracted from the Bland of Mencia.



Apparently there was also a men's division competing throughout the day. But I somehow managed to miss that.

FYI, the next tour stop is this upcoming weekend in beach volleyball mecca, Louisville, Kentucky.

Labels: Cheerleading Goodness, Volleyball

This weekend at Pimlico, horse racing enthusiasts and mentally imbalanced people across America all honored the memory and legacy of Barbaro, the horse that inspired a nation by living for eight months in pain after breaking down at The Preakness. The passion displayed for the fallen champion was both disturbing and bewildering, and perhaps even a bit endearing. No actually, I'm sticking with just disturbing and bewildering.

While Barbaro's fight for survival eventually came to an end, the compassion demonstrated by his followers certainly must have endured. So when just minutes after Barbaro's name was ceremonially honored at Pimlico, a five year-old stallion named Mending Fences broke down on the very same track, you would expect enthusiasts to embrace this fallen horse as a new life to fight for. A second chance to win the battle. There would be cards and letter sent to Mending Fences' hospital. Poems and dances would be composed in his name. His struggle would be our struggle, and together we would transcend any of the other petty differences that clutter our day - like actual human suffering.

Or maybe not.

"The horse was put down," Pimlico vice president Mike Gathagan said. A green screen was put up in front of the stallion to shield the procedure from a stunned crowd of more than 100,000.

I guess if you're a horse lover, survival is only worth the fight if you've got extremely valuable jizz.

Labels: High School English, Horse Racing, Hypocrisy

A few years ago, Bud Selig wanted to broaden the popularity of baseball, so he scheduled the season opener in Japan. The NBA has a growing market in China and may even start their own league in that nation. The National Football League has played a preseason game in Japan, a regular season game in Mexico, and is considering increasing the regular season by one week in order to play more games abroad. Meanwhile, the Tampa Bay Devil Rays are looking to increase their fan base by playing their upcoming series with the Rangers....at Disney World.

The Ballpark at Disney's Wide World of Sports will be the home stadium for the Devil Rays this week in an effort to expose the people of Orlando to Tampa Bay baseball. The hope is that once residents of Orlando get a sampling of Devil Rays baseball, they will then make the drive from Orlando to Tropicana Field to catch more games. "The Ballpark" is the spring training home to the Atlanta Braves and has a seating capacity of 9,500, plus four luxury sky boxes and two open-air suites. If the Devil Rays manage to sell out these games, they'll actually increase their attendance figures from their last Tuesday-Thursday home series (vs Minnesota: 8,773, 9101, and 8993).

I suppose it's a low risk proposition- there's really nowhere to go but up for the popularity of the D-Rays- but still, regular season games at a Spring Training complex? This feels an awful lot like when the Expos were tired of drawing small crowds so they moved some games out to Puerto Rico. The main difference being that Puerto Rico has an avid baseball culture whereas Orlando is pretty much devoid of culture altogether.

Soon after Montreal started playing games in Puerto Rico, they were relocated to Washington. I think this desperate move signals the beginning of the end for the D-Rays. They have put together an entertaining, albeit struggling, team; and yet the only time they can draw any sort of crowd is when the Yankees or Red Sox come to town. It's time for MLB to reverse the huge mistake they made when they handed Tampa Bay an expansion team. While there are some cities that might be able to support a major league team if the Devil Rays were to relocate (Las Vegas, Albuquerque, Portland, and Oklahoma City come to mind), I think this would be a great opportunity to contract the league back down to 28 teams.

Of course in order to get to 28 teams, it means one other team would also have to go. I think that team would have to be the Kansas City Royals. I'm old enough to remember when the Royals were actually one of the great teams in baseball, with George Brett, Bret Saberhagen, Dan Quisenberry, and of course Steve Balboni, so I would be disappointed to see KC out of the league. But it's been twenty years since the Royals were relevant to major league baseball. Meanwhile other small-market Cinderellas like Florida, Minnesota, and most recently Milwaukee have all been able to build competitive teams. The Royals have developed a few star players (Carlos Beltran, Johnny Damon, Jermaine Dye/Michael Tucker), but have never been able to hold on to a nucleus long enough to make a run. It's time to put Kansas City fans out of their misery.

On the plus side, you know how anytime someone asks Joe Morgan what he thinks of a team, he responds with, "they need to add another bat?" Well, contracting two teams out of the league and holding a dispersal draft would certainly help in that regard. I'm sure BJ Upton would quickly become a hot commodity. Plus, all of this tanking the Yankees are doing this season would actually have some value as they could draft Scott Kazmir with the #2 spot in the draft. If you ask me, it's a no-brainer- which means that even Bud Selig is qualified to make such a move.

Labels: KC Royals, MLB. Addition by Subtraction, TB Devil Rays

This video has already made the rounds, most notably on With Leather and the AOL FanHouse, but just in case ya missed it, I had to share the brilliance of this NBA recap. This guy is like Mike Myers and Kenny Mayne's lovechild.



I can't decide what part of this video I like best. Every jab at Kobe is great, and the hanging file folders are a nice touch, but for some reason I laugh loudest at "he eats his apples red delicious."

Labels: Videos

Have a kid between the ages of 7 and 14 that loves football? Or perhaps there's a neighborhood MILF that you'd like to get closer to, but you need to get her kid out of the house for a few days? Either way, Matt Leinart is here to help. This summer, Matt Leinart and 4th and 9 Sports (great name, I must admit) are offerring the Matt Leinart Football Camp, which will provide a series of non-contact instructional drills and classroom sessions over the course of five days in Santa Barbara. For the low price of $695, overnight campers will be provided lodging at Tropicana Gardens, a local dormitory across from UCSB. Additionally, special guests from the NFL are scheduled to attend, including Reggie Bush, Brian Urlacher, Edgerrin James, Nick Barnett, and Dwayne Jarrett. This sounds pretty cool (Urlacher is one of my favorite players and Bush has been great for the city of New Orleans,) but unfortunately their level of participation isn't detailed in the brochure. Perhaps they forgot to scan a page before putting it online. So I guess I can only speculate on what expertise each athlete will be bringing to the clinic. Here are the special sessions they could potentially offer:

"Opening Ceremony Inspirational" Presented by Matt Leinart.
Mandatory session. Matt Leinart will present the monologue he would have performed had his worthless former agency landed him the hosting gig on Saturday Night Live instead of that pasty, over-exposed Peyton Manning. (Note: any child who does not laugh at Leinart's jokes will not be allowed to participate in the remainder of camp.)

"Winning Isn't Everything." Presented by Edgerrin James.
Sure everyone would like to win a Super Bowl someday, but that's just not realistic. Edgerrin will help kids realize that there are more important things in life than winning- like getting PAID!

"Gamebreakers Don't Stay in Dorms" (overnight campers only). Presented by Reggie Bush.
After two days of on-field drills, Reggie Bush will determine who the elite players are within the camp. Those kids will be upgraded from the Tropciana Gardens to the Four Seasons Resort at no additional cost.

"Tackling With One Arm Tied Behind Your Back." Presented by Brian Urlacher.
After the on-field sessions have completed, campers will join #54 in the film room where they will review game tape of the Super Bowl. Urlacher will break down the tape to illustrate how even the best defenders can't make plays when defensive coordinators are essentially playing "prevent D" all game long.

"Waltzing Your Way to Eligibility" Presented by Matt Leinart.
Many of your kids will be playing high school sports soon, and for some, maintaining academic eligibility will be a difficult challenge. Leinart will draw on his years of experience to help kids select the right elective courses that are sure to keep their grades in a comfort zone.

"Believing in Yourself." Presented by Dwayne Jarrett.
One of the most important attributes for any young athlete or young person in general is self confidence. Throughout college, Jarrett was one of the most arrogant, cocky, confident players in the league. Jarrett will teach kids how to realize- and in fact overinflate - their own self-worth. He'll also show kids all the bling he purchased with the bonus he's going to receive for being a top 10 pick. (Please instruct your children not to inform Jarrett that he wasn't drafted in the top 10. As Jarrett says, "It doesn't matter what order Roger Goodell calls the names. The order in my head is all I care about."

"Hitting Sessions" Presented by Nick Barnett and Matt Leinart.
Campers between the ages of 7 and 12 will join Nick Barnett as he demonstrates proper the tackling form. Campers aged 13 and 14 will join Matt Leinart in the film room where he presents a slideshow of various female celebs and athletes and calls out, "Yeah, I hit that."

C'mon now, who wouldn't pay 700 bux for that? Really, all that's missing is an announcement from Leinart that he also convinced a few 'SC Song Girls to attend and this would be the greatest camp ever.

Labels: Matt Leinart's Giant Sleepover, USC

After 60 bux in pay per view fees and 24 hours of buzzed television viewing (what else can you do with leftover beer and tequila from Cinco De Mayo other than drink the remainder on Seis De Mayo?), we now know who the pound for pound champion of the world is. Here is the current rankings of the strongest men in the sports world:

1. Calvin Borel. The 5'2", 116 pound, 40 year-old jockey proved that he can beat the hell out of a horse harder than any other professional horse-whipper en route to winning the Kentucky Derby. In doing a little research (i.e. Wikipedia) on Borel, I discovered that he is currently engaged. This led to my warped mind conjuring up the image of he and his wife in the honeymoon suite with Borel adorned in his uniform and holding a riding crop. Not a pleasant way to start my week.

2. Steve Nash. There are moments when I wonder if I made a mistake in finally upgrading to a high def tv this spring, such as anytime Tom Hammond or Jeanne Zelasko appear on screen. But then something comes along like a point guard cracking his nose open with a geyser of blood pouring out and I realize it was money well spent. From the moment that Steve Nash's nose collided into Tony Parker's skull and all the through the chemicals and pressure that trainers were applying to Nash's face, I never once saw him show any expression of pain. Meanwhile, it was Tony Parker who was lying on the floor for a few minutes while trainers attended to him, and Nash actually checking on Parker initially to see if he was alright. It really illustrated the difference between Nash's Canadian hockey gene and Parker's French, um well, "France" gene.

3. George Steinbrenner. George may have just salvaged his season afterall by snagging Roger Clemens away from the Astros and Red Sox. Sure it may have cost him a prorated $28 million to do so, but the Red Sox shelled out $51 million up front for Daisuke Matsuzaka, and if I were a GM, I'd much rather have Rocket this season. Granted, the Red Sox have Matsuzaka for multiple years, but is that really a good thing?

4. Barry Bonds. I don't know if Bonds is still on anything or not. But if he does have some mystery substance, when I'm 42, I want some. Whether or not you like Bonds (or said in another way, whether you're a rational human being or a Giants' fan), you have to be impressed by a .347 batting average, .529 on base Percentage and .806 slugging percentage at any age.

5. Floyd Mayweather. I don't know if he's the best pound for pound fighter or not, but he's definitely the most elusive fighter in the world. Tactically, he may have delivered a perfect fight, but boxing fans would have liked to have seen more combinations from the new champion. Instead it was one and done. The only noteworthy thing to happen at MGM was the appearance of Jenny McCarthy ringside just a few hours after she was seen by NBC cameras at the Kentucky Derby. Craving a little face-time, are we there Jenny? Maybe she was just there to promote her latest movie, "Wieners." But I don't know why she bothered. With a cast of McCarthy, Kenan Thompson, and Darrell Hammond, this thing promotes itself.

Labels: Nightcap

There was a magical performance in California Thursday. A true thing of beauty. It was a vision that even the most loyal fans wouldn't allow themselves to dream because they knew there was no chance of it ever becoming reality. And yet somehow it did.

Stacy Keibler squeezed into a sports bra and participated in a beach volleyball tournament.

Keibler, having parlayed her Dancing With the Stars appearance into a career as a movie premiere attendee, has taken on a new challenge. Luckily for us, it involves wearing minimal clothing, body contortions, and lots of sweating. Keibler chose the Huntington Beach stop on the AVP tour to make her debut. Unfortunately, her underhand serve and limited spiking ability led to a 21-7, 21-11 defeat for her and her partner, Jessie Cooper. The score was respectable enough that Ms. Keibler should be encouraged to continue to pursue this quest. Hopefully, she'll give it another run in two weeks when the AVP goes to Hermosa Beach. I'm sure I could free up some time Thursday to help her with her serve and Brazilian ass slapping technique.


...

Oh yeah, there was also a basketball game in California. I almost forgot about that. A few thoughts...

It sure was considerate of Dallas to just quit at the start of the 4th quarter so that basketball fans on the east coast could get some sleep. It was the most anticipated game of the playoffs so far, and tipoff was scheduled for after 10pm est. It's like David Stern called in sick on the day the playoff schedule was set and he asked Bud Selig to fill in for him. On the plus side, it was fun to see Charles Barkley falling asleep on live tv.

After watching Steven Jackson torch the Mavericks, will the other GMs in this copycat league decide that a crazy person is an essential element for a playoff team? Qyntel Woods, Ron Artest, Ricky Davis, and Latrell Sprewell might want to stay by their phone just in case.

Does anyone know what Mark Cuban said to the TNT cameras immediately after the game? I've rewound it on my TIVO a few dozen times and I still can't figure it out.

Congrats, Warriors fans. You've now got the reputation as the best crowd in the NBA, and you've earned it. But for round 2, can you please lose the thundersticks? You're loud enough on your own- you don't need the gimmick. Just remember what you thought about Sacramento fans and their damn cowbells and leave the inflatables at home.

Speaking of the fans, I know she doesn't have the instant notoriety of the F*ck Da Eagles chick in New Orleans, but could someone with Maxim find the identity of the blonde standing courtside in the blue tank top with the F*ck Me eyes and get her a pictorial pronto?

So how does Game 6 affect Baron Davis' reputation as being injury prone? Yes, he left the game early with a hamstring pull, but he also came back with a gritty, game-deciding performance. As one reader emailed me during the game: the announcers wanted to compare this to Willis Reed. But this wasn't Willis Reed. This was Kirk Gibson.

This may be one of the great upsets in NBA history, but Warriors coach Don Nelson is taking everything in stride. In fact, he's spending this victorious night in the same way he spends every other night. By drinking a fifth of gin and then passing out on top of a prostitute who may or may not be a she-male.

Labels: Bikini Goodness, Golden State, NBA

Ok, it isn't the the worst thing that's happened in trampoline basketball, but it's amusing nonetheless.

Trampoline dunking during halftime had kind of become like the dunk contest during the all-star break. It was novel at first, but now it feels like we've seen it all. But just like we'd never seen someone kiss the rim before, we've also never seen an exhibition trampoline dunk attempt quite like this:



Maybe that guy shouldn't have picked a playoff basketball game as his first time to attempt dunking...or jumping, or anything that involves remaining upright.

Personally, I prefer my trampoline dunks to be a little bit like this, but with less clothing and more oil.

Labels: NBA

Labels: MLB., Yankees